All posts by Gina Lockhart

Gina Lockhart has lived and breathed the art of entertainment since her earliest years growing up in the Puget Sound of Washington. Gina continues to thrive to be an example for hard working, self aware and empowered women in the entertainment industry. The first movie to start her passion for film and production was the Greta Garbo classic, Camille (1936). Gina was enchanted by the way light, sets, and costumes were all used as elements to take the story to a higher level of emotional connection. This interest only grew stronger as she became exposed to the production environment of films, studying directing, producing, and editing all as tools to bring a story and characters to life. Starting out, she mixed her love of film production with a keen ear for music, and got into music documentary work and band video production. During this work, she realized this passion would be her life, and enrolled in college for film studies. First and foremost for Gina though, is that she knows that if she can make something that entertains herself, her harshest critic, that it’s almost certain to entertain others. Where the rubber really meets the road for Gina though is in collaboration. Her social skills, energy, passion, and talents all come together to bring groups into focus, keep them on task, and drive toward the finish line faster and more effectively than possible without her.

A Humble Man Goes A Long Way

Advice I gave to a young man is paying off from a break up: “Lay it all out there with her. If you guys love each other – do what it takes. Ask her two questions. 1. Can we work on this together? 2. Would you like to be with me?”

She loves him. They are going to work it through. The power of a humble man beats pride any day. Truth wins.

Two days later, I received a text saying “thank you” from him. We chatted a bit more and I told him:  “A humble man goes a long way. Just one thing, don’t let it get abused. You will know that line by your intuition. Women are visual as well. It’s the one misunderstanding I think men have. We need to see the actions of love. There ya go. For the rest of your life, you have the key.”

Not long after I messaged that, this came across my Twitter feed:
Don’t believe people who tell you they love you. Believe the people who show you.

I have dated some really prideful men when all I needed was to be shown vs words or hell, maybe even hearing would have been enough in one relationship. This isn’t about a man chasing a woman. This is about a man loving a woman and doing his part to keep things fresh, alive, grounded, stable and again: his part. What she does after that is her part. I don’t need to go deeper than this, I already advised for him to not let it get abused.

I don’t want to see this young couple fizzle into the trap of moving on and have the wash, rinse, repeat syndrome. There is no perfect partner – there is only a partner who is perfect for you.

Love isn’t a battlefield. It would be more of a bed of roses. They have thorns, beauty and all are uniquely different. It takes work to cultivate a good environment to get these beautiful creatures to grow. When two are side by side with equal care, they are amazing. Their roots will touch each other, drink the same water, share the same ‘bugs’ (aphid etc), require the same amount of light and shelter – but still remain the same unique rose as an individual.

Love from within your soul.cydylc3wgaeg9r2

Cheers.

Intuition & Instinct: Which one do we listen to?

Intuition:
the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

Instinct:
a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity.

Dreams are pretty interesting really. They can shows and teach us things that we may not have thought about while awake. Other times, they are a mix of goofy moments we did during the day or something we watched.  The dream I had last night revolved around a game called Space Engineers and I think a little bit of either Event Horizon or Alien slipped in the mix.

I was the Captain of a space craft and we were docking to board another ship that had not been answering back for some time.  I had a crew of five going over with me. My intuition was alarming me that something was clearly wrong with this picture of course.  Even though the oxygen was on at the second craft, I wouldn’t let any of us take our gear off.  All was quiet. Too quiet.

Going past a couple rooms that were empty and rounding a corner where the dining area is, we immediately see carnage of bodies. I will spare the details. Without hesitation, I told the crew we are to evacuate quietly and now. One started to argue that we were there to investigate and asked how I knew we were in danger. I replied that the blood was not fully dry.  I was a Captain of a space ship, not an investigator.

Intuition and instincts.

It hit me after I woke up that I was willing (in dream) to listen to both intuition and instincts. Why? Was it because there was blood? There was obvious danger?  What made me think not to take off our suits? I was thinking ahead. So the outcome wasn’t like we see in the movies where one dummy defies orders and takes it off, ends up with an alien rammed down his throat, we go back to the ship and it continues on. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Why don’t we use our intuition better with our daily life?  Why do we ignore signs and excuse people or their behavior? Is it because we have been taught to give chances from forgiveness?  It’s probably the best answer I can come up with.  In abuse situations, the victim stays with the abuser and forgives their words or actions, but it continues on again.

Forgive:
to cease to feel resentment against (an offender).
to give up resentment of or claim to requital for.
to grant relief from payment of.

Just because you forgive, it doesn’t mean you allow the person to continue to abuse, mistreat, disrespect, or to continue whatever it is that they keep doing.  So in repeat situations, it is not a habit, it is part of who they are, which brings me to control.

Control:
to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate.

Self
You must control yourself with action and words to keep from repeat moments.  Learn to listen to your intuition before it becomes instinct. There is no need to feel the ‘flight or fight’ from epinephrine rushing through your body because you’re stressed out, angry or fear your situation. It cases increased heart rate, blood pressure, cardiac output and carbohydrate metabolism. Go – look it up. Epinephrine.

Others
You cannot control others. They must master their own mind, soul, tongue and actions. They must see within their core being to change. You have no control over this – even if you or a counselor were to point it out. You have no control.

Action:
an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mental activity.

It speaks far louder than words and if you do not see progress on their side, it’s time to keep working on yourself and move forward. You may find that you will have to leave that person behind. Words are cheap, but action is worth gold.

So trust your intuition before your instincts kick in.

Featured image for the movie Alien.

Communication: Stick With The Plan

Communication. It’s vital in every situation, but more importantly – when both or all understand and stick with the same plan. When someone changes things without reasoning or informing the other(s) and then gets disappointed because the other person or team isn’t doing right by their plan….well, that just isn’t good communication.

Communication.
Planning.
Flexibility.
Goals.
Executing on the goals as a team.
Stay on target. (Damn straight I had to do a Star Wars line)
Good outcome.

It seems simple, I know. The sad fact is, many people don’t do communicate well. If you don’t have a good memory, it’s best to keep a journal to look back on. If you have to email yourself a reminder or put it on your online/desk/wall calendar – do so. You can’t expect others to read your mind. It will save time and relationships (work/love/friends/family).

Removing ‘Try Hard’ From Your Vocabulary

It is a beautiful day to remove the term ‘try hard(er)’ to: just do.

Make sure that it’s for yourself and not for others. It is automatic that if it is for the positive, it will benefit everyone in your life. Seeing within yourself and changing for personal betterment is challenging and bosstastic.

When things become automatic, you no longer have doubts and fears because it’s for you. You are in control of lowering or raising the bar for the goals in life that you have wanted as long as they are realistic.

Keep thriving for your goals to be successful because there is going to be nasty, rotten people who are family, colleagues and friends who will discourage you, call you a dreamer, and say hateful things. Why? Because they fail at being more and need someone to be miserable with them. Don’t sit in the pool of misery shit. Rise above it.

Cheers!

#sassitudewarrior

2016: A Year to Learn From

2016. What a strange and unexpected year. To be honest, I could also throw in 2015 and 2014 in the mix as well.

It’s December now and if you were to ask me one year ago (Christmas time) as to where I was going to be, I honestly believed that I would be writing this from Fort Worth, Texas and talking about different goals and paths. I thought that I would be spending time with someone (his family for the holidays) and getting married or maybe already. This was not the case and a cold dose of reality hit me.

A ROLLER COASTER RIDE DERAILED 
Was it for the better? Probably since things were so very confusing and twisted. I broke it off in June. I still don’t know what was truth and/or if things were said and just forgotten or if it was as shallow as it seemed to others and finally with me at the end. There was zero apologies from his end. Other things said that were not healthy while unrealistic expectations transpired, lack of clear and mutual communication, but most importantly was my dignity went out the window for him. I can’t take it back.

Afterward, I still want to believe he loved me, but it took time to realize that silence means many things in different situations. I wrote a very detailed letter after I broke it off explaining why I left. I gave many chances and even waited for him to apologize and make some changes for himself as a person. I needed to see if he was out for himself and thinks it’s all my fault or if it really was meaningless crap.

It was just not going to happen which became even more confusing, painful and damaging.  I did blame myself. I blamed myself because “you’re not trying hard enough.” It took six months to finally heal up with the first two months of non-stop tears and this is coming from a girl who doesn’t cry much. You don’t just ‘get over it’ like many people tell you to do. Clearly they have never been in your shoes and don’t know the emotion you’re feeling.

Honestly, none of that matters. None of the issues at all really matter because I realized that I loved someone more than I love myself. When you realize there is something wrong with this picture, it can lead you down a dark path.

Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing. Even scarier – when you think you don’t need change.

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DARKNESS
Sometimes in life, you go through a dark spot and you might feel you can’t get out.  I nearly ‘lost my shit’ during the break up and it was because of things I did for that relationship. I was feeling and thinking things I never have in my entire life.

Thankfully, a few friends saw some signs and heard a tone in my voice apparently. I was desperate to talk about things that made me feel disgusting, down, and useless in life. I had to regain my self-respect, dignity and love. I had to realize that I end up with guys who do not love me – they use me that I won’t go into deeper details.  So be very careful telling someone to ‘just get over it’ next time.

I have always been the positive believer and motivating myself and others through my own words. So when I became the person in need, I reached out. I am grateful for the many free videos on YouTube, websites of motivational speakers, Facebook groups, and anything I could find out there to keep me focused on thriving to get out of the well and back to being me.

I was wrong in blaming myself. As for “you’re not trying hard enough” – well I was for the situation. When things are not mutual, you can only do so much. You have to accept that there will never be a change unless they see and want it, an “I love you”, or an apology. Ever. You have to accept it and find a way to maneuver past it. I know that Karma or the Great Architect of the Universe will do it’s thing.

WHEN DARKNESS GETS BLACK
I have never been in this place before and now I understand and empathize with many who have been here. I do not wish this upon anyone. I didn’t feel like I was going to the extent of actually doing suicide, but I’m going to post this in case someone reading this does feel like it:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-8255
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

You are just in a well right now and you might think there is no way out, but you don’t see the way out – cry out to someone. Reach out – start climbing. You are not worthless. You are not stupid. You are not a retard. You are not ugly. You are not fat. You are not a pile of shit. You do not need to try harder for other people’s purposes or their expectations.

Those are all terrible words and phrases that people have said to you. Live for you. Live life the way you want to. Go live your dreams. They need to show actions over words and be responsible for themselves. You are not to blame.

Take time to heal over things – it’s my thought that six months is a good line to draw that if it goes past that time, you should start thinking about why you’re not getting over it and maybe seek some help. Set some new goals just for you. Get through the negative to seek the positive. If someone tells you to ‘get over it’ – be sure to tell them (bluntly): Go fuck yourself.

WORK AND FINANCES
Like I mentioned above, I had been looking for work in Dallas/Fort Worth and one year ago, I turned down a job in the area with a known talk show host due to the way things were feeling in the relationship, but I didn’t really want to believe it. So I kept lingering and was in limbo-land not really knowing what to do. It’s much deeper than this and don’t feel the need to go further.

After I broke it off, the strangest things started happening – some job leads and some cash came in. I just had to go back to the start of my film career: editing.  I was able to get Lockhart Enterprises, Inc. starting up again. It’s been slow, but it’s better than being in limbo. I didn’t expect my finances to just boom overnight.

The focus on this next year is to be stable and on my own as an independent contractor or hired on with someone else..

WRITING
My creativity came back which had been missing for a couple of years.  I was close to production on a short film, but I need to complete it as a feature because it holds value. It’s a long story on this, but worth it in the end when it happens. I may mix things up a bit. So I will be working on two feature scripts, with the second one having a buddy’s eyes on it.

FRIENDSHIPS
I’m so very grateful for my longtime friends who kept with me while I was focused on leaving to another city and giving so much attention to a guy. I’m grateful for the humor my gaming buddies provide and honest truth. I get great advice from them about men and how to handle situations.  I’m reaching out to my friends and realizing who friends are when you have nothing to offer but friendship. It’s a two-way street. If I contact you for even a question, it should tell you that I trust and value your word. Where is the text, call or message asking me how I’m doing? Friendships are two-way streets. I know who reaches out to me. I know who have been there all along. Good people.

HEALTH
I’m back to being healthy and down to my goal weight. I am doing combat styled workouts, eat healthy as a carnivorous rabbit, take care of my skin, vitamins, sleep healthy, keep peace within and it seems to work well. Believe me, if I get dehydrated, I will get dark circles under my eyes. So keeping hydrated and staying out of the sun allows me to take silly selfies without being Photoshopped. I just giggle over pictures that have been blurred to all hell.

So what if my wrinkles aren’t deep and who cares if you or I have them? At least it shows we laugh. Am I supposed to look like shit because I’m older than 25? Fuck that. I have good genetics, but a big key is not smoking, drinking, drugs, and stay the hell out of the sun. That helps, but there is no such thing as perfection. I’m tired of apologizing for how I look or even being asked if I have hair extensions, lip injections, botox, or fake boobs – NO. I don’t have the money for any of that crap and wouldn’t do it. I’m tired of feeling bad. I have a four inch scar on my right cheek. I have insecurities like everyone else.

We’re all aging – since birth if you haven’t noticed. So stop it. Take care of yourself and stop focusing on others….especially women. We need to stick together. It’s bad enough we have a bunch of nasty, ugly, thumb head men sitting around judging us and telling us what is hot and not just so they can jerk off. Damned straight I called them that because it’s time women stop being so nice to men and ripping on women.

VOCAL TO TOXIC PEOPLE
A lot of what I went through this year, I found that I have no patience for toxic people. I am polite at first when they start whining and then I finally have to shut them down.  If you’re nice or you lie to them, it only encourages them to continue being toxic. It’s especially so with my gaming world.  I finally had to tell one buddy that it’s just a game and you can’t expect to win every time due to the situation of the matches and that it really becomes no fun to the point I want to play another game.

I’m competitive, but I’m also realistic. If we’re going full on sponsored competition – that’s one thing, but to just be playing with random players from around the world as our team ….you can’t expect perfection. When toxic people invade my peaceful and happy mode, I can’t sit back and let it continue any more.

VOCAL IN GENERAL, BEING NICE & DRAMA
I don’t have to be around toxic people to be vocal. I am done being the people pleasing person. There just has never been a place for drama in my life. I hate it. I just like to be a happy person and it might mean being naïve, but I’m okay with that.Being nice has a bad habit of collecting creeps, douchebags and nut jobs. Unfortunately, when you’re nice to people, they assume you like to listen and then you’re smack dab in the middle of drama.

You don’t know why at first because this isn’t what you expected, but it all revolves around just being nice to people. So I have had to sit back and ask myself if this person shows signs of being like others. I’ve been learning to sever myself from nice in certain situations and it’s helped a lot.

LOVE
I never thought I could love someone the way I did, but I did. For me it felt like it could fill the Universe. This next time, I just need to make sure that I’m loved on an equal level. Love is not by words – it is an action.

INTENT reveals desire; ACTION reveals commitment. #SteveMaraboli

A post of mine on Facebook a few weeks ago:
Il est temps pour l’amour. Je suis prêt – pas parce que j’ai besoin d’être, mais parce que je veux être. 
 To translate: It’s time for love. I am ready – not because I need to be, but because I want to be.

A buddy of mine asked me:  “But I have a question: Are you ready to love?”
My reply was:
For the first time in my life, I am ready to BE loved. I did love. I had finally loved someone so very much that I wanted to move where he was and grow together as time goes by. We were not on the same level with truth as I clearly see now and that it was there all along. Words to string along. Don’t let a guy tell you he wants to marry you, let a man show you he wants to marry you.

I was never included (treated like a shadow) and that was a huge sign to overlook. I did a little researching into my relationship past and found similar patterns that I need to break and what I should and shouldn’t seek out.  Bla, bla, bla.

It was also adorable to see a young gamer man buy his girlfriend a pretty bracelet for Christmas and she lives in another city. He worked so hard and it was nearly all of his paycheck. It opened my eyes on how he talks about her and treats her.

PRIVATE PERSON
I was always a very private person and I suppose this is kind of rare for a woman, but I didn’t get into the chicks circle and talk about baking cookies or what finger nail polish looked good or what nighty turned my man on…..I always thought this was stupid. Plus, I thought….well, what did he do to turn me on?  Yep, I am a lover of sex so it’s a mutual thing. I’m just not into the whole girls do this and guys do that. I like sports, cars, sex, and can still put on a dress and high heels.

I never felt my world was interesting enough to yap about really. I’m a boring person to most unless you want to know my thoughts.  I only drink on light occasions and I don’t smoke. I never did drugs and played sports in school all year long and did co-ed after school was out for a long while.  I have been a gamer for as long as I remember and that will not stop.

I think a lot of my hard core privacy came when I ended up with a stalker for six years (99-05). I had to remove pictures of family and friends, close accounts, make things private, don’t talk about people, where I was going to go and only talk about where I had been if at all…most times it was a made up venue to throw off the stalker.

So I think when I became a shadow person in a relationship when I was ready to be open about who I was with – all hell broke loose internally.

BALANCE
I’ve finally come to a balance in my life. It took long enough and some really rough roads, but I’m finally back to my ballsy, sassy self and then some. I won’t be as easy-going and who are there for me as I am for them.

HUMOR
My wicked sense of humor has returned. That’s the beauty, really I have a normal sense of humor. I have learned that if your sense of humor is only understood by a few people, then it’s probably time to re-evaluate yourself a bit. Sure, it’s okay to have some odd-ball quirks, but when it’s everything and it doesn’t average out with others, pull out the iron and board. Get the kinks out. Berating people or using humor to see how far you can push them – that isn’t humor. That rides that line of abuse. Re-evaluate yourself.

A CHANGE FOR A DIFFERENT CHAPTER 
I look forward to a strong and fabulous change happening in all of the areas in my life filled with good friends, good decisions, as little drama as possible, and great colleagues with a positive income flow that allows for things I need and my own path of living.

I wish for continued success and other private things through the year. No more waiting around.  I wouldn’t mind welcoming love and know this time to pay attention to actions.  No more waiting. I waited for a miracle of change with the ex long enough. It didn’t happen and it won’t happen. I accept it. I will continue to be a work-in-progress for myself and what would make me a better person.

As for love – it will have to take some serious Earth-shattering event to get my attention at this point, but I know that it has to also be the right person.  I have never been one to seek out, but I will now take time to ask a man for coffee. Never just anyone. Not a perfect man, but a man perfect for me.

Shine bright.

One day, you will be just a memory for some people. Do your best to be a good one. Just remember, you’re not responsible for their words and actions.

A much smaller and healthier me. It’s good to be back to healthy. Forever.

I was accused that this picture was photoshopped for skin color and congratulated on weight loss: As for this photo – my chest has moles and a reddish tone from being burned in the sun really bad about five years ago playing softball. I can’t help it. I could put foundation on it, but why bother. That’s why my hooter is whiter than my chest.  *shrug*  
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So I decided to have a little fun with Photoshop and let it auto correct the color. I then matched my skin tone from my right hooter at the lightest section near the shirt and went over my entire skin to match and did it over the hair that’s on my skin – hell, even my lips. I removed my bags/circles under my eyes and removed my smile grin – oh and transformed my jawline into something I’m not. BOOM – photoshopped.

Lesson learned that I should put my pictures through auto color correct and never just upload from my phone. It does look smoother though. Thank to the critic. You did open my eyes that my raw pics are awful.

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Value: What is it?

Value.

I hear a lot of the ‘self-worth’ talk lately and I think in some ways it’s being overly used, which seems pretty typical anymore.
 
Value: It’s not your job. It’s not cars or trucks. It’s not your house. It’s not the money you make.These are secondary things that allow us to be comfortable with our journey in life.
 
Value is just being you. A human being – the person inside the meat suit. There is no such thing as physical perfection. Respect yourself without thinking you’re above others. Respect yourself to refrain from feeling below others. There is a huge difference of a discussion or silly joke vs abuse or continuous ill treatment. Just being you is enough. Just being you is enough. Repeat that and remember it forever.
 
So if someone places the things you own or do for a living as a value over who you are – Respect yourself.
 

Be A Simple Person

Be a simple person.

I’m the type of person that likes to smile, laugh, feel happiness, and peace. I try to maintain it all day long by fueling it with more. I don’t like to wonder or have intuitions kicking in. I don’t like anger, arguments, and grief.

If I feel I have said something to another – I will apologize. I compliment and thank people out of the blue. If I wanted pain in my life, I’d rather go back into BDSM. I see beauty, even in beasts. Unfortunately, some beasts never had a spell on them the whole time – it’s who they are.

I don’t like to be pushed just to see how far before I explode to tears.The only tears I like to experience are from laughter and believe me, the group of buddies I have, keep me in tears. I swear they should have their own web-series.

Maybe it seems naive to you, but at the end of the day, I go to sleep peaceful. If that’s being naive, then I guess I don’t want to break it out of my life.