These are words to live by – especially for myself. I’m no expert on all of this stuff, but I keep on trying to learn. So this is just my take on things and it might be right, it could be wrong, but I just try my best to reason things out for the positive. I don’t believe in staying negative or surrounding yourself and staying in a toxic relationship. So here we go.
We are all born with different parents with different ethics, morals, values, faiths and view points. Some have more empathy than others and everything plays into how we’re raised as human beings. Then we’re out there into the world trying to find people or a soul mate that is similar enough to how we are.
Even when we do find someone similar, some people look for those that can build them up and never give back. You’re going to run into these kind of people a lot. You just have to keep them out. Unfortunately, they really don’t care about you and there could very well be some sort of medical condition (sociopath, mental illness, narcissism etc) that stands in the way while others just really don’t care. Either way – you can’t change them to become outward focused. Let me repeat that – you can’t change them to become outward focused.
You must focus on you and recognize just how much time you are spending to make things work in any kind of relationship without seeing a return. It’s okay to expect a return because it should. When you buy a car – you expect it to run. When you buy a plane ticket – you expect to get on that flight. When you sit on a chair – you expect it to hold. When you work at a job – you expect that paycheck.
Giving 100% in a relationship where the other person is giving less than 50% becomes exhausting, boring and frustrating. This will drain your soul, heart and mind of all your positive energy. It’s harder when you’re with someone who claims to be positive, but you have been robbed of everything due to their toxic core. Change this – change you. You can wish things to work, but it won’t without two.
There are really good people out there that do want to give their 100% to you. You know what is holding you back? You. Just let these people into your life and let them shower you with their love, gentleness, kindness, encouragement, peace, laughter, honesty and so much more. They will speak with wisdom and not tear you down for their benefit. They won’t compliment another person and make you feel stupid. Example: “He/She speaks eloquently” – when the person spent four years in college majoring in Speech Communication and calls you a dumb blonde/idiot, etc.
We will always be different and have different views, it’s just about listening, respect, love, and allowing people to have a different view. There will never be a perfect partner. There is a thick and thin – just don’t let the thin fade into nothing.
If the grass seems greener on the other side or with other people, it’s because they take care of it, maintain it and feed it. If you’re not getting along – it’s because one person doesn’t want the other to have a different view and is looking for perfection. Give – take. Take – give. Give and take together for the benefit of oneness.
Why do I say “especially for myself” up above? Because I tend to give far too much of myself without expecting return. What this does is, it sets me up for being taken for granted or advantage of by people who are not honest and manipulative for their own desires. I want to be with someone who actually listens to me and wants to have conversations about the Universe, life, gaming, cars,and just a simple question of how you’re doing today.
So here’s a little list and maybe I will keep adding to it. So for now – it starts with 11 on the item of basic things to keep positive for you. Just remember – we’re all different. There will never be a perfect person or group of friends.
1. If you want to be trusted, be honest first.
2. Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.
3. Invest in people who invest in you.
4. Be with people who appreciates how you think.
5. Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong and they are right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego.
6. When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them.
7. Cut anyone and everyone out of your life that makes you feel small, hurt, humiliated, stupid, worthless, etc.
8. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.
9. Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn.
10. Be with people who always want to know how your day was. Simple/small conversations show they care.
11. Karma. What comes around – goes around.