Tag Archives: encouragement

Intuition & Instinct: Which one do we listen to?

Intuition:
the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

Instinct:
a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity.

Dreams are pretty interesting really. They can shows and teach us things that we may not have thought about while awake. Other times, they are a mix of goofy moments we did during the day or something we watched.  The dream I had last night revolved around a game called Space Engineers and I think a little bit of either Event Horizon or Alien slipped in the mix.

I was the Captain of a space craft and we were docking to board another ship that had not been answering back for some time.  I had a crew of five going over with me. My intuition was alarming me that something was clearly wrong with this picture of course.  Even though the oxygen was on at the second craft, I wouldn’t let any of us take our gear off.  All was quiet. Too quiet.

Going past a couple rooms that were empty and rounding a corner where the dining area is, we immediately see carnage of bodies. I will spare the details. Without hesitation, I told the crew we are to evacuate quietly and now. One started to argue that we were there to investigate and asked how I knew we were in danger. I replied that the blood was not fully dry.  I was a Captain of a space ship, not an investigator.

Intuition and instincts.

It hit me after I woke up that I was willing (in dream) to listen to both intuition and instincts. Why? Was it because there was blood? There was obvious danger?  What made me think not to take off our suits? I was thinking ahead. So the outcome wasn’t like we see in the movies where one dummy defies orders and takes it off, ends up with an alien rammed down his throat, we go back to the ship and it continues on. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Why don’t we use our intuition better with our daily life?  Why do we ignore signs and excuse people or their behavior? Is it because we have been taught to give chances from forgiveness?  It’s probably the best answer I can come up with.  In abuse situations, the victim stays with the abuser and forgives their words or actions, but it continues on again.

Forgive:
to cease to feel resentment against (an offender).
to give up resentment of or claim to requital for.
to grant relief from payment of.

Just because you forgive, it doesn’t mean you allow the person to continue to abuse, mistreat, disrespect, or to continue whatever it is that they keep doing.  So in repeat situations, it is not a habit, it is part of who they are, which brings me to control.

Control:
to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate.

Self
You must control yourself with action and words to keep from repeat moments.  Learn to listen to your intuition before it becomes instinct. There is no need to feel the ‘flight or fight’ from epinephrine rushing through your body because you’re stressed out, angry or fear your situation. It cases increased heart rate, blood pressure, cardiac output and carbohydrate metabolism. Go – look it up. Epinephrine.

Others
You cannot control others. They must master their own mind, soul, tongue and actions. They must see within their core being to change. You have no control over this – even if you or a counselor were to point it out. You have no control.

Action:
an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mental activity.

It speaks far louder than words and if you do not see progress on their side, it’s time to keep working on yourself and move forward. You may find that you will have to leave that person behind. Words are cheap, but action is worth gold.

So trust your intuition before your instincts kick in.

Featured image for the movie Alien.

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Be A Simple Person

Be a simple person.

I’m the type of person that likes to smile, laugh, feel happiness, and peace. I try to maintain it all day long by fueling it with more. I don’t like to wonder or have intuitions kicking in. I don’t like anger, arguments, and grief.

If I feel I have said something to another – I will apologize. I compliment and thank people out of the blue. If I wanted pain in my life, I’d rather go back into BDSM. I see beauty, even in beasts. Unfortunately, some beasts never had a spell on them the whole time – it’s who they are.

I don’t like to be pushed just to see how far before I explode to tears.The only tears I like to experience are from laughter and believe me, the group of buddies I have, keep me in tears. I swear they should have their own web-series.

Maybe it seems naive to you, but at the end of the day, I go to sleep peaceful. If that’s being naive, then I guess I don’t want to break it out of my life.

Three Flaws to Break

About three years ago, I wrote a blog on why I was still single. “Damn girl. Why you still single?” Sound familiar to a lot of you who are single? Yeah, it’s actually funny to me and I’m not bothered by it at all, but I thought I would write about the adventures.

At that time, I thought I had all the answers as to why I was single until a few months later, I was swept up off my feet and going through a 2.3 year relationship and the 5 months of grieving after I broke it off. I now fully understand why.

It was pointed out that there were a few qualities about me that he said made him love me:
Innocence.
Independence.
Fragile.
Vulnerable.

I believed a lot was going to happen for our future together and went out of my way in that relationship. There really wasn’t a whole lot of action, just a lot of words. Those three things were kinda taken advantage of by the person who loved them.

So – I finally realized that I need to destroy all but one description: Independence.

I tend to believe people at their word way too easy. My trust gets violated. I’m a partial cynical person in the good sense and my intuition works, but a lot of times I just ignore it until my instincts have to kick in. That’s a problem that I need to work on. I would rather spare the feelings of others over mine. No longer will I do that.

In my previous blog, I was so wrong with all of the things I thought and yet at the same time, the things I thought on why I was single, really were these three core flaws.

I can combine the three (innocence, fragile and vulnerable) into one word: gullible. So I need to stop allowing myself in being persuaded into things and stand my ground.  I remember he once told me to never lose those qualities, but now I completely disagree that they are qualities. They are severe flaws.

So with that, even though that relationship ended in a lot of heartbreak and time wasted, it pointed out that these flaws need strengthening.

I am grateful. I want to see flaws, weaknesses and the stupid things I do because I would much rather be work-in-progress than a person who blames others and never sees their own faults – worse by never making progress of change.

I will continue to take people on their word, but I will follow-through with respectful expectations of seeing action behind the words.

So yes, even the most terrible or heartbreaking things that go on in your life, can indeed teach you something positive about yourself.

I expect of myself:
To be a better friend.
To be a better mate.
To be a better colleague.
To be a better human being.
To be more silly because humor is amazing.

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Basic Things To Keep Positive For You

These are words to live by – especially for myself. I’m no expert on all of this stuff, but I keep on trying to learn. So this is just my take on things and it might be right, it could be wrong, but I just try my best to reason things out for the positive. I don’t believe in staying negative or surrounding yourself and staying in a toxic relationship. So here we go.

We are all born with different parents with different ethics, morals, values, faiths and view points. Some have more empathy than others and everything plays into how we’re raised as human beings. Then we’re out there into the world trying to find people or a soul mate that is similar enough to how we are.

Even when we do find someone similar, some people look for those that can build them up and never give back. You’re going to run into these kind of people a lot. You just have to keep them out. Unfortunately, they really don’t care about you and there could very well be some sort of medical condition (sociopath, mental illness, narcissism etc) that stands in the way while others just really don’t care. Either way – you can’t change them to become outward focused. Let me repeat  that – you can’t change them to become outward focused.

You must focus on you and recognize just how much time you are spending to make things work in any kind of relationship without seeing a return. It’s okay to expect a return because it should. When you buy a car – you expect it to run. When you buy a plane ticket – you expect to get on that flight. When you sit on a chair – you expect it to hold. When you work at a job – you expect that paycheck.

Giving 100% in a relationship where the other person is giving less than 50% becomes exhausting, boring and frustrating. This will drain your soul, heart and mind of all your positive energy. It’s harder when you’re with someone who claims to be positive, but you have been robbed of everything due to their toxic core. Change this – change you. You can wish things to work, but it won’t without two.

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There are really good people out there that do want to give their 100% to you. You know what is holding you back? You. Just let  these people into your life and let them shower you with their love, gentleness, kindness, encouragement, peace, laughter, honesty and so much more. They will speak with wisdom and not tear you down for their benefit. They won’t compliment another person and make you feel stupid. Example: “He/She speaks eloquently” – when the person spent four years in college majoring in Speech Communication and calls you a dumb blonde/idiot, etc.

We will always be different and have different views, it’s just about listening, respect, love, and allowing people to have a different view. There will never be a perfect partner. There is a thick and thin – just don’t let the thin fade into nothing.

If the grass seems greener on the other side or with other people, it’s because they take care of it, maintain it and feed it. If you’re not getting along – it’s because one person doesn’t want the other to have a different view and is looking for perfection. Give – take. Take – give. Give and take together for the benefit of oneness.

Why do I say “especially for myself” up above? Because I tend to give far too much of myself without expecting return. What this does is, it sets me up for being taken for granted or advantage of by people who are not honest and manipulative for their own desires. I want to be with someone who actually listens to me and wants to have conversations about the Universe, life, gaming, cars,and just a simple question of how you’re doing today.

So here’s a little list and maybe I will keep adding to it. So for now – it starts with 11 on the item of basic things to keep positive for you. Just remember – we’re all different. There will never be a perfect person or group of friends.

1. If you want to be trusted, be honest first.
2. Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.
3. Invest in people who invest in you.
4. Be with people who appreciates how you think.
5. Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong and they are right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego.
6. When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them.
7. Cut anyone and everyone out of your life that makes you feel small, hurt, humiliated, stupid, worthless, etc.
8. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.
9. Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn.
10. Be with people who always want to know how your day was. Simple/small conversations show they care.
11. Karma. What comes around – goes around.